I often struggle to accept that God hasn’t yet instantaneously healed me of my mental illness. I find myself asking God, “Why don’t you heal me? Why don’t you remove my mental illness from my life? Jesus, you healed people so effortlessly during the days you walked this earth. Why not me now?”
What is recovery?
Recovery is not an instant solution, a one-time achievement, or the complete elimination of symptoms. As much as I have hoped and prayed for instant healing, it has never happened.
The Canadian Mental Health Association defines “recovery” as:
“the personal process that people with mental health conditions experience in gaining control, meaning, and purpose in their lives. Recovery involves different things for different people. For some, recovery means the complete absence of the symptoms of mental illness. For others, recovery means living a full life in the community while learning to live with ongoing symptoms.”
I am learning a new definition of recovery. I'm also learning to ask more helpful questions.
Six questions I asked myself during recovery
How am I cultivating hope for the future?
I can believe that God promises complete healing in the next life where he will wipe away every tear.
How can I see myself more as Jesus sees me?
I need to give myself the same kindness that Jesus has already extended to me.
What am I personally responsible for in my recovery?
I can understand what I am able and unable to do to help myself.
How can I educate myself and advocate for myself better?
I can keep mindful of recovery options by reading helpful resources.
How can I develop support systems and engage in community?
I can review my support systems by listing and then reaching out to people I can count on.
What routines will benefit my physical health?
I need to prioritize things like walking, exercising, sleeping, and spending time outside.
The gift of a recovery journey
Although I would never have wished mental illness upon myself and I hesitate to call it a gift, I do see the unique opportunities it affords me. Every bit of suffering and pain in the process of recovery turns me from my self-sufficiency to dependence on God.
If I didn’t have a mental illness to work through, I would be more prone to making my identity about my accomplishments, my experiences, and my possessions. In short, I would be a lot less dependent on God.
Asking better questions helps me experience recovery with Jesus. And he is what I need most of all.