Lord, how long will this ache last?
How long must I be patient?
How long must I struggle to be faithful?
How can I be grateful?
I am stuck in my distrust
my stubbornness
my sinfulness
Failure covers my eyes
and defeat blurs my vision
What is there left for me to see anyway?
All I see is a church surrounded by torn walls
Destruction and obstruction in the name of construction
Lord, do you see your people?
All I see is a broken, wicked, corrupt society
There is unrest, unrest in this city!
Lord, your sovereignty is questioned and denied
Justice now feels like a fairy tale
All I see is a mongering crowd, clamouring for my attention:
assigning blame for suffering
giving lies to hardship
throwing fickle opinions to hate
All I see, Lord, is my list of prayers:
grievances piling up
weighing heavy
How can I be thankful when division keeps us apart?
Confusion overwhelms my mind:
Where is the light? Where is the light?
Hope is so, so dim.
Yet what is left
what remains
reveals him
I still hear his voice in
his people
his Word
and music
His echoes reverberate in me
I still feel his love in the embrace of family
still feel his joy in the warmth of friends
still feel his protection and providence when I’m kept safe
his hand guiding me day by day
I still taste, still see
that the Lord is good
How can I find gratitude?
I find gratitude in the dark
It illuminates the strongest of trials
Outshines the greatest of desperations
Pierces the longest of nights
Gratitude is not found in
circumstance
emotions
outcomes
nor even in myself
Gratitude is found in
remembrance
reflection
painful obedience
and reaching out toward the unseen
Because I still find Jesus in the dark
He is my light, my life
my salvation
I lack nothing I need
because he is all, he is everything
I praise him in the dark
because I have him in the dark
