I felt small and weak
It was the same experience year after year. My elementary class would line up in order of height for the annual school photo. I was always at the end of the line, the smallest guy in my class. I got used to my peers literally looking down on me.
In high school, I got used to my peers looking down on me, not only for my physical height, but my social insecurities. The tough guys in my gym class took advantage of my short, skinny, and quiet self. I endured strangle holds and inappropriate demonstrations of physical power and social domination over me. I was just thankful when they finally let me go, but never said a word or stood up to them.
My fears intensified when my family moved and I was put in a small rural high school of 20 students. My new peers were tough and intimidating. Unlike my circle of friends back home, they were into heavy metal music, getting drunk on weekends, bragging of their sexual conquests, and bringing their teachers to tears with their cutting words. I was often physically assaulted under the guise of lunchtime sports because they knew they could get away with it.
But it was the verbal put downs that hurt the most. Boys made fun of my appearance. Girls in my class would purposely embarrass me to see my face turn red. I was incessantly teased that I had romantic aspirations for the least-liked girl in the school. I didn't know how to stand up for myself, so I never did. Instead, I shrunk back and started to believe that there was something fundamentally wrong with me because I was the target of so much demeaning. I just couldn’t fit in.
Someone saw my potential
It wasn’t until university that I gained more confidence, thanks to new friends who valued me even when they saw my weaknesses. Their friendship and empathy helped me to overcome intimidation. I started to entrust myself to God and my friends who supported me.
The biblical story of David from 1 Samuel 17 shows me how God’s spirit changes how I think in the face of bullies. David was a nobody like me, a mere shepherd minding his father’s sheep. He was the youngest of 8 brothers. When the prophet Samuel was told to go and anoint one of Jesse’s sons, no one even bothered calling David. He was an afterthought, the least expected to be king.
Despite his family’s low regard for him, a servant of King Saul suggested David come and play his music for Saul to bring him comfort. The servant recommended David as brave, well spoken, fine-looking, and the Lord was with him. Saul brought David into his court and was pleased with him.
How did this servant see David’s potential? Why did he take a risk and bring him to the palace? Why did he give him such a good recommendation? That servant saw what his family couldn’t. He saw the potential in David’s character, skill, and walk with God. That servant provided David opportunity.
Refuse to be intimidated
David's life would change forever when his father asked him to deliver food for his brothers on the front lines of a battle with the Philistines. As David greeted his brothers, the Philistine giant Goliath came out to give his usual taunt, challenging a man of Israel to fight him. David started to inquire about the fight from men around him. His older brother Eliab belittled David and tried to shut him up.
David could have let his older brother intimidate and bully him into submission. He could have walked back home in humiliation and shame for his curiosity and desire to fight. But David insisted on fighting Goliath. Saul must have observed the bold and tenacious spirit within David, because he eventually did let him fight the giant.
David won a great victory that day over Goliath, one epic bully. And yet he was nearly dismissed twice by two men who looked down on him. They both saw him as a mismatch for the contest. What they didn’t know was that God was with David. David never backed down, he only asserted himself all the more at the right time and with the right person.
Don’t let anyone hold you back
I am who I am today because of people who took a risk on me and gave me opportunity to take steps of faith. I am indebted to many people who mentored me, encouraged me, prayed for me, studied God’s word with me, offered me wisdom, and supported me financially.
Even when some people look down on me, I don’t need to let intimidation hold me back from taking steps of faith. Sometimes I do need to stand up and plead my case. I can have confidence that God can work in and through my character and skill as I walk with God.
Even when other people belittle or think less of you, it doesn’t mean you have to stop taking steps forward. Don’t allow the intimidation of others to stop you from taking steps of faith and trusting God. God doesn’t discriminate or disqualify you from his purpose because you are weaker or smaller.
Instead, surround yourself with people you can trust. Seek out people who are willing to give you opportunities to grow and take risks. Pay attention to the people who see your potential and are willing to invest their energies to help you become the person that God has intended you to become.
